A poison pen letter to a spraypainting fool at the Los Angeles River Walk
October 5, 2011 § 7 Comments
Dear Man-Boy of Atwater,
Apparently your parents and neighbors are afraid of you, and your friends are probably as big assholes as you. You are clearly overdue to be cornered in a dark alley by a small army of cantankerous grannies, or the bad Vampire Slayer, or Batman. Hope you meet your destiny soon. Why you had to take a big crap on a significant park project, a signature landscape tying in a small naturalized creek to the blooming Los Angeles Riverwalk at North Atwater Park, before it’s even done is beyond me. Maybe you don’t want your neighborhood to get any nicer, you don’t want your little brother or sister (or godforbid you have a child) to feel safe playing at the L.A. River. You can’t stand the site of anything beautiful, crafted? You drive up the costs of maintaining a decent environment, bring despondency to those who dedicate their lives to making Los Angeles livable, drive the undecided to believe that locking down our public spaces is the only way to manage land, and, yes, breathe oxygen into the fire of anti-government goons who see failure in all efforts to improve our lives through the expenditure of tax dollars. You may be a punk, but you’re not punk rock.
So check yourself, pendejo. We can see you know how to form letters, spell even, so eff’ing go out there and read. Learn something. Become somebody worth hearing from.
P.S. LA River + Atwater peeps, contact your council offices to let them know you want them to step up graffiti removal, park patrols, and general dickhead abatement. They need to know this is a priority for you.
P.P.S. Did you know it’s been scientifically proven that the size of your letters are inversely proportional to your – well, never mind.